Thursday 19 May 2011

One more challenge



One more challenge on expanding sentences and realising how the telling sentences change into showing ones.

Click on this site on expanding sentences. Go clicking until you have at least 10 lines long as text. Look for some showing phrases, how did they become showing, what else was added to the words so that they are expanded?

Leave a good comment on your observations.

37 comments:

Paulina B said...

Hello Miss Ale!!!
I think that to each noun there were adjectives added, and so it was more descriptive.
And there is also showing vocabulary.
I liked a phrase, that from being very poor, with showing vocabulary it came richer. But what I don't like is to have short sentences.
It was a sentence when I started, but it could convert in 10 lines.
I liked it a lot
Paulina

Hannah. R said...

Hi Miss Ale,
I was very impressed because from a sentence (of 4 words) it becomes a long paragraph or lots of paragraphs.
I like doing showing paragraphs because I like stretching the sentences that you give us!

Agus T said...

Hi Miss Ale!!1
What a fantastic site, I never believed you could change from a simple sentence I made tea, into a very long paragraph. By only changing words!! I hope I can do like that when we finish the year, we have a lot to learn!!! I did it up to the end, but when I realized I had to look for showing sentences I will start it again.
I remembered the first word I pressed was "I" and it changed to "Yawning", but the I continued, when I pressed it again, and again, and many other words. At the end that simple sentence, became longer than 2 paragraphs, because of only making them showing.
This is a paragraph that I got:

"Yawning, and smearing my eyes with my fingers, I walked bleary eyed into the kitchen and filled the kettle with fresh water from the tap, checking with my hands to make sure it was cold enough (The best tea comes from the coldest water)"
Extracted from: http://www.telescopictext.com/
Jaja, I didn't forget to put the source!
See you, well, now!!

santos m said...

Hello Miss Ale,

thankyou for this help you give us for expanding the sentences. Now I will included in my stories and I will do the best story of the world

by

Pedro B said...

Hello Miss Ale
I think that this challenge is very very godd ,i like it,When you started you only have one short sentence and then you only with a simountaneously click you make a short sentence into a very good sentence , you have a very discribtive sentence that it gaves a good image of what it looks like , it makes the text richer and makes the people who is there reading the book make an image in our heads

agustin e said...

Hi miss Ale!!!!!!
The text that you gave to us was very impressible because it teach s you how to show a single word and so large it with adjectives and doing a showing paragraph I learned a lot from here
Thank you!!

Ana G said...

Hi MIss Ale
I am very surprised because, only a sentence can transform into a showing paragraph. It is very good because first you read the sentence and then you continue reading it with lot more of details.
See you next week
Ana

Pedro said...

Hello Miss Ale I think that you have to be a genius to make something like that! I got up to the ten and its incredible how each highlighted word changes itself or makes another sentence with the same word with it.

Thomas E. said...

I think it is very good the site, because when you click in a highlighted word the text becomes richer. From a sentence of 4 words it became into many paragraphs.
see you miss.Ale

Pedro S said...

The one above its mine SORRY!!!!!!!

Lucas n said...

hello Miss Ale
I think this was a fantastic site because as hannah said you started with four words and you ended with a very showing paragraph.
A lot of strong descriptive adjectives are included in this paragraph. It was amazing when i clicked 10 words and I already had a showing paragraph.

Roxie W. said...

Miss Ale,
Wow!!!!! What a showing paragraph! Each word kept on expanding into more and more things. It was a very big paragraph. From one little sentence to a whole paragraph. When I was writing my showing paragragh, sometimes I forgot that it was showing and I told a little bit but mostly showing.
See you tomorrow!!!!!

Ariana G. said...

Hi Miss Ale,
I am so happy you put another showing sentence!! I love that just from one word, even though its not normal like said and they use yawning or words like that, they also make the whole sentence longer. At the end when I was finished clicking on the grey words, the paragraph had 15 lines!!! When I read it, it was much better then the sentence at the beginning. It only starts from like 4 words and turns into a huge paragraph, almost like a story!!! Its incredible!! This site is fantastic!! I love how they explain it to you, and like Agustina said, I hope that when we finish the year I will expand a lot. Although if I expand in all my sentences I will have a story of 1000 pages!!! But it also makes it much more interesting, creative and makes you want to read more. See you tomorrow!!

Sofi C 6A Olivos said...

Hi Miss Ale,
You now I would have loved to try that game of expanding sentences but it didn't let me go to the link! I'll try later on if it works but for now Bye!
Sofi C

mariaf said...

hi miss ale is very intrestin i clicked in many words until the paragraph was very big and when i read i could notice that it was full of adjective. is incredible how 3 or 4 words can transfor in 25. I am starting to incorporate the showing sentences in my writing because before i always made telling before. by see you tomorrow

mariaf said...

hi miss ale is very intrestin i clicked in many words until the paragraph was very big and when i read i could notice that it was full of adjective. is incredible how 3 or 4 words can transfor in 25. I am starting to incorporate the showing sentences in my writing because before i always made telling before. by see you tomorrow

Franco S said...

Hello Miss Ale:

I dont have a very good idea ofwhat is talking about this post but I read it ehh.But I figure it out.

see you tommorow

Sofi K said...

Hello Miss Ale:

I agree with Paulina. Each noun we could see had an adjective, that how it make the showing paragraph much desciptive. For me the most intresting part was when the sentence started very poor and then it showed much more.
I had a good time reading it!!
See you!!

Ariana G. said...

Hi Miss Ale, this comment goes along with the other one. When I kept clicking and reading the shaded words and sentences, each noun had an adjective and that adjective had another noun. Like cup of tea. It turned out to be, a nice, hot cup of tea.

juan de g said...

For me each word had an adjective. each time you click a word the adjective is more descriptive. Like when it says cup of tea. then it says nice cup of hot tea.

juli ch said...

Hello Miss Ale:
THIS IS AMAZING!!!
I agree with Paulina and Sofia K that most of the things added were Adjectives (not all of them).
When I finished clicking and I read all the text again and you can realize that it is very different.
Also in some moments the text was very descriptive but ''Joe''kept on adding more and more things.

Sofi K said...

I am continuing my las comment. Miss Ale I think that page is excellent!! Also is very quik. We can learn alot through that page. if once you tell us to write a showing paragraph we could check there and could make OUR paragraph much RICHER!!
This was the text that I got:

Yawning, and smearing my eyes with my fingers, I walked bleary eyed into the kitchen and filled the kettle with fresh water from the tap, checking with my hands to make sure it was cold enough (The best tea comes from the coldest water). I glanced outside for a minute at the city mist. I could almost taste the grey. I plugged the kettle in and switched it on. As the kettle began to hiss, I looked for biscuits. Anything above loose crumbs would do. Thankfully I found some fusty digestives. For some reason, biscuits are always nicer when they've gone a bit dry and stale. I took the milk out of the fridge and poured some into a cup that I'd left out from having used earlier. The kettle began grumbling fiercely so I took it from the cord, threw a teabag into my cup and poured boiling water onto it. I watched brown swirls rise up through the muted white of milky water. A few minutes passed. I removed and squeezed the teabag, then flicked it into the bin. I picked up my mug and left the kitchen with a nice, hot cup of strong tea.

See you on Thursday!!

Franco S said...

Hello Miss Ale:

Now I understand what was the post of I really like it. I clicked were it said by Joe. Look at the super long paragraph that I had:

Yawning, and smearing my eyes with my fingers, I walked bleary eyed into the kitchen and filled the kettle with fresh water from the tap, checking with my hands to make sure it was cold enough (The best tea comes from the coldest water). I glanced outside for a minute at the city mist. I could almost taste the grey. I plugged the kettle in and switched it on. As the kettle began to hiss, I looked for biscuits. Anything above loose crumbs would do. Thankfully I found some fusty digestives. For some reason, biscuits are always nicer when they've gone a bit dry and stale. I took the milk out of the fridge and poured some into a cup that I'd left out from having used earlier. The kettle began grumbling fiercely so I took it from the cord, threw a teabag into my cup and poured boiling water onto it. I watched brown swirls rise up through the muted white of milky water. A few minutes passed. I removed and squeezed the teabag, then flicked it into the bin. I picked up my mug and left the kitchen with a nice, hot cup of strong tea.

Its kind of cursi what it says, what do you think??? He also get so much into detail. When I read and click I thought that it was never going to finish. It started with 4 or 5 words and it finishe with lots and lots of sentences. Can you have different results???? Hope yes so then we can count them. It is not a challenge it very good.

Belén D said...

Hi Miss Ale:
I had never thought that the sentence I made tea could be so expanded only with showing sentence!
It became showing text by adding adjectives.

Roxie W. said...

Miss Ale,
The showing frases became showing because in each word, they made more and more words, for example:
I made tea, turned into: I myself tea. And then a cup of tea.
I thought that it wouldn't be able to expand anymore but it did. We learned in language with Mariana that there are different types of verbs. One of them is the process like cooking. So I know that this is a process.

Joaquin C said...

I thought that for you making the sentence longer, developed was with adjectives this changes the sense of the paragraph.

Clara G said...

Hello Miss Ale
I agree with Paulina.Each noun there were adjectives added.
I think that my story came richer with showing words and also with adjectives.When I checked the checklist my paragraph changed alot!
I used some showing vocabulary for my text.
See you later!
Clara G

andres kw said...

I like it a lot is incredivle how can you expand the text and also how you can create a image in the readers head and you develop it a lot a cup of tea to a paragraph of 22 lines.

Ambar t said...

WOWWWWWWW!!!
A samll sentense turned into a BIG paragraph!I but that was I thought it was going to be a longer sentence only, but that is more than one sentence! the writer added more actions! like: he got biscutes and he went outside!
byee
i liked it a lot

Andres ku said...

That is really cool, but they some times don't use adjectives like we said in class.

Joaquin C said...

I think ts that not always that you click a adjective appears some times it developed the sentence.

gabor g said...

this man puts a million adjectives. If i would write like this i would make a book for every sentence i want to make.

Ernestina P. said...

Miss Ale
What a fantastic method for us to watch how a simple and telling sentece becomes in one very long paragraph!
I could see the same as Gabor just said that the man that writes it adds a lot of adjectives and I think that you also want us to add this because when we write a showing paragraph it would be very useful!
See you on Tuesday 31.
Ernestina P.

andy e said...

it is incredible all this words how from i made tea, to a super big showing paragraph.

martina o said...

Hi Miss Ale:
I think that the nouns that are added ajectives are more discriptive and you can visualy in your head imagen it. The showing sentence is more discriptive and visual.

Rocío PR said...

Hi Miss Ale,
I was very impressed to see that 4 lines can expand to 10 lines!!
Making it a showing text
Thankyou for teach us the showing texts. Now I will try to make a showing text.

Clara V said...

Hello Miss Ale,
What a great example of the diferences between showing and telling scenteces, It is incredible how is that you can transform a poor scentences in a rich and complete scentence, I can do that butwith more practice for me this is to write more deatiles and descrive using adjectives and similes. For me this is the best way of writing something because us we talked in class the showing scentence is much more atractive and it catch the readers atention, adn the telling scentence goes traight to the point, by using this method a story could be very interesting.
see you
Clara V 6A